Kay Vacation

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RE: a vacation at a WESTERN RANCH, can you write an amusing little tale that includes 5 of these lines....?

RE: a vacation at a WESTERN RANCH, can you write an amusing little tale that includes 5 of these lines....?
just for the pure fun of being creative?

1. I'll let you keep the femur, but leave the skull for me, 'kay ?
2. Sorry gits it once, mister.
3. And just who was I in that pithy metaphor of yours?
4. As he stood there in tight fitting jeans with his hat at a rakish angle,
Sunshine spit out her gum and tugged on her chaps.
5. You did WHAT with the treasure map?!
6. Please take the spine from this Blossfeldia liliputiana cactus
OUT OF MY ***!!!!!
7. Dried cow dung and mystic tea leaves.
8. Cowboy up, you baby!!
9. All hell broke loose as the coyote strolled into the tent.
10. I was in 'Nam with an idiot like you.

Miss Kitty walked into Mrs. Mavis’s House of Tea and looked about nervously.
Surely someone with a name like Big Zeke Calhoun wouldn’t be hard to spot!!
She had deliberately chosen this placid setting so Sunshine and Matt would not get wind of her meeting with Zeke! They were all set to attend a treasure hunt at the Whiskey Sour Ranch that weekend and she wanted to be the one to “discover” the treasure first!
( Through one of her unsavory contacts she had arranged to procure a copy of the treasure's location from Zeke)
As she scanned the restaurant her eye caught on a child waving but as she took a closer look she saw that it was a teeny tiny cowboy wearing a Ten Gallon hat and he was motioning her over to his table!!
She gagged as she walked over taking in all 4 foot 6 inches of him!!
“Zeke?” She asked peering down at the diminutive man.
“At your service Miss Kitty” he answered.
(As he bowed he nearly fell over from the weight of his hat!!)
”Did you bring the Treasure Map?” she asked wondering how he got the name Big Zeke, as her eyes strayed downward......
“I’m sorry….I DID have it this morning b-b-but …"
The waitress chose that moment to come over.
“What’ll it be folks?”
Kitty ordered a green tea but Zeke wanted to know what was in the “Super Special Blend”
The waitress smiled conspiratorially “Dried cow dung and mystic tea leaves are the base ingredients but if I tell you any more I’ll have to kill you.”
Since Zeke didn’t seem to get it Kitty snapped, “Make it two specials and get lost!”
The waitress left in a huff!!
Kitty was now glaring at him..
“Sorry gits it once, mister, now get on with the story!!"
W-w-well, this morning I was at my gal’s tent, Little Flower, when her old boyfriend decided to pay a visit……well all hell broke loose as "The Coyote” strolled into the tent and found us while we were…….
Kitty stopped him…”PLEASE…spare me the details… Where is the map??”
"Uh..w-w-well….when he threatened to kill me I kind of…gave him the treasure map…."
Kitty screamed!!
"You did WHAT with the treasure map?!"
Zeke looked apologetic.
“It was either that or have him kill me!"
Before Kitty could respond a huge woman wearing a fringed Mu-Mu strode up to their table.
Zeke gasped!!.
“Little Flower…it’s not what you think!!!
Little Flower ignored him, her eyes glued on Miss Kitty's red hair.
"Let us go outside and discuss this like grown women flame haired one!!"
Before Kitty could respond she was being lifted like a feather by Little Flower and "escorted" outside!
Big Zeke ran in the opposite direction…..fearing the wrath of Little Flower once she got done with Miss Kitty….
A few minutes later, as luck would have it, Sunshine and Matt pulled up to Mrs. Mavis’s House of Tea.
(Can’t keep a secret in old Dodge City!!)
Sunshine was admiring the scenery surrounding the place.
“Matt..look at these HUGE cacti!!! Aren’t they awesome??”
Suddenly Matt heard a distinctive voice yelling “HELP!!!!”
They both rushed around the back surprised to see Miss Kitty in a precarious situation!!
She was wrapped around a particularly EVIL looking plant!!
“PLEASE take the spine from this Blossfeldia liliputiana cactus
OUT OF MY ***!!!!!” she screamed.
Sunshine stifled a giggle as Matt assisted Miss Kitty in disentangling herself from the monster cactus.
As he stood there in (his) tight fitting jeans with his hat at a rakish angle,Sunshine spit out her gum and tugged on her chaps.
“You certainly are a knight in shining armor”
Her gaze strayed upward, and their eyes met...
Miss Kitty picked a stray cactus quill from her bottom as she watched them enter the restaurant...
“HMMPPHH!! Aren’t there any secrets at ALL in Dodge anymore???!!!”

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Finding Car Rental Deals - Stretching Your Car Rental Dollar

One sure way to save money this summer for your vacation is to find car rental deals. This can be as easy as looking at the top car rental agencies like Hertz, Avis, Budget, and Enterprise online and seeing if they offer any special Internet deals, but there are other sites available that do the work for you.

Though you may not know it, Priceline, Hotwire, and Expedia all offer ways to save you on your next car rental. While these companies are widely known for saving you on hotel and flight fees, many do not know that they also offer car rental savings as well. Why do these companies save you money? Car rental agencies are constantly left with cars on the lot. When this happens the cars are making them absolutely no money. Priceline, Hotwire, and Expedia all work with the top car rental agencies and offer you a deep discount and the car rental agencies some money rather than none. Here's the breakdown:

•Priceline: Priceline offers 'Name your own pricing' even when it comes to getting a car rental deal. Basically what you do is bid a specific price you are willing to pay for a car rental and you either get it or you don't. Using this method can save you up to 30 percent on all major car rental agencies and Priceline is an easy to use site that walks you through the process step by step.

•Hotwire: Hotwire has rental car deals for as low as $13.95 per day and offers a way for you to search for car rental deals by city and by the time that you will need the car. A great feature with Hotwire is that you can register with them to be alerted when a deal that fits your budget is available so that you will be able to book that deal right away.

•Expedia: Expedias also gives you the ability to search for car rental deals by location and by time but this site offers something even better; price guarantee. If you should find a better car rental deal online within 24 hours of booking your rental car with Expedia, they will refund you the difference, plus give you a $50 travel coupon.

As with many things in life, the further ahead you plan the better. More often than not, you can get a better car rental deal and do a little more comparative shopping if you book as far ahead as possible. If you wait until the last minute, you can still save by using one of these three websites. Both Hotwire and Expedia have a 'last minute deals' link that can be used to find car rental deals that have just come up and Priceline offers a link that is called 'Pricebreakers' which features deals that are usually expiring in a couple of days. While the savings may not be as great as if you planned ahead, a buck saved is a buck saved.

With everyone tightening their belts this summer, don't scrimp on the fun; instead use one of these online resources to help you find your next car rental deal. By doing so you save yourself time and more importantly money, which can then be used to spend on your vacation any way you want to.

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